✨ALCHEMIZING TRAUMA✨
I’ve heard Teal Swan define trauma as “distress without resolve”.
That resonates with me, in that if we receive the proper support to let the energy of challenging experiences be loved and moved, kind of like animals shaking off after a challenging moment, it doesn’t stick to us. We let it go. Our nervous systems release and evolve.
Humans have the added element of the mind, which brings a dimension of needing to understand and spiritually process challenges, especially if you’re a deep thinker and feeler like me. Personally I feel compelled to fully comprehend the challenges I experienced, to deeply learn from them in order to receive the lessons and create meaningful evolution.
This is perhaps a factor for me in why not knowing fully what happened in my childhood with absolute clarity is challenging. Thankfully I’ve learned enough, and am on the path of cultivating Soul Wisdom, by listening to my Body and honouring my Emotions.
Along my path of meeting other people who survived childhood sexual abuse, I learned that many tend to be on one side of the pendulum swing of knowing. Either they recall everything and wish they didn’t, or have dissociative amnesia and wish they knew for sure what did. Both have blessings. Both have challenges. Each person is on their own unique journey.
My journey has had an added layer of being lied to and gaslit. The lying I transcended by deeply listening to the feelings, body language, and observing similar patterns. The gaslighting I evolved beyond for the most part by vulnerably seeking mental health support, taking time to let the dust of my inner knowing settle, surrendering to what if’s yet always coming back to caring about what I feel / my Body / my Emotions, observing and learning from the patterns of behaviour of the gaslighters, and creating boundaries to protect my well being / Power.
Now… Trusting Myself. I do think that to some degree, the dissociative amnesia and self-gaslighting I experienced (asking myself “Am I crazy?” and not wanting the memories / feelings to be real) were helpful. Truly, deep questioning is essential to find the Truth. There are some edges to my experience that I let be in a grey area, for example psychedelic experiences. On one hand, MDMA can be very helpful for PTSD and being able to feel enough Love to access deeper Truth. Yet on the other hand, the therapeutic use of psychedelics is still exploratory.
Yet what I feel I can deeply trust, thanks to a lot of therapy and sober self-healing exploration, is my Body and my Emotions. Interesting that as I write that, I feel a bit of a spinny dissociative feeling, like my mind is not sure if it’s fully safe to write about this here, now. Yet it’s through shining my loving flashlight and making courageous steps through my dark matter that I find more self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-Love.
Truly… I’m almost 40 years old. Still 39 until February 2026. But the looming goal post of what feels like being a mature, wise, woman in her Prime… Energizes me to step out of the patterns of disempowerment that may have kept me safe before, and embrace my Inner Treasure Map.
Even though the journey of courageously alchemizing what I’ve been through into meaningful changes and evolution is not over, I’m thankful for this path. Moreso I’m thankful for the strange ability to use my deep feeling senses to not just bring light to my own dark matter, but also be able to illuminate energetics for / with others. I’ve had many moments of feeling energy in others’ fields connected to their chakras / sexual abuse shame / low self worth / Soul parts seeking much-needed and well-deserved Healing… Even though I felt anxious feeling it and scared to speak up, I prayed to flow what’s in the Highest Good of All… And even though sometimes there was resistance, ultimately the Truth is Liberating. Deep down we all Know.
Music has been an incredible ally in my own healing and being able to help others. The cathartic release of authentic emotions, the spiritual opening to flow beneficial guidance, the deep Soul healing of feeling safe to feel and be Real in Harmony. I’ve had many moments when I was playing something that resonated deeply with me and helped others have big releases.
Likewise my 1:1 sessions have that Power, with the added benefit of receiving specific information and intuitive inspiration for your unique life experience. Especially if there’s questions around what happened in the past… Imagine moving forward no longer bound by the energetic imprints of abuse seeking resolution by manifesting similar patterns. Imagine moving at light speed to learn from the past and love into a better future. Imagine freeing yourself from the webs of manipulation and being able to fully serve the World, in your Power.
Infinite Blessings,
Cora
