ALCHEMY
February 20, 2025
Yesterday I felt like trash. Steamy, melting, disgusting trash.
I was in a low money moment, but the real reason was because sexual trauma from childhood had come up, and I had asked for support from a family member the day before. They couldn’t even give a caring word, which was hurtful and devastating for my inner child parts.
“Don’t go to the hardware store for milk” is a saying (I believe Cheryl Richardson quoted that in the amazing You Can Heal Your Life Movie by Louise Hay) that resonates. Even though I know not everyone is on the healing path and can offer emotional support, sometimes I ask.
Thankfully a friend came through, who genuinely cares, asks questions, and helped me out. It felt good to cry and let the feelings be expressed, not shaming but respecting the inner child feelings. Compassion for the multi-faceted experience of being an adult healing trauma.
At the end of the conversation I said, “Thank you, you’re pure gold”. He said “You’re pure gold too!” It was nice to remember that. To feel loved even in the messy moment.
I’m sharing this because… It’s a challenging time. And for some of us, initiations are happening to help us face our feelings, to learn the lessons, to enter more empowerment. “We can only move forward as fast as the slowest parts of us can go”… “The treasure you seek is in the cave you fear to enter”… And my honest sense of what’s going on is, sometimes there’s an organic healing process happening that’s required for a Soul’s (ooo 444 words as I typed that) evolution, to transform challenging experiences into medicine, purpose, and Power.
In retrospect I feel like I (and parts of me) needed to express the feelings that came from the trauma and being denied caring support. I was treated like I was worthless, and felt worthless. Thus the trash feeling. Thankfully “one [person]’s trash is another [person]’s treasure”.
Being Loved… Is Alchemy. Sometimes it takes new discernment based on feelings. Sometimes it requires a courageous ask. Sometimes it is a trust fall, to unravel the authentic feelings in a space of flowing surrender, and trust I’ll be met with compassionate support.
What I see now is… I had that experience to re-affirm my boundaries. To allow parts of me to take the stage, to express their feelings, to feel a greater sense of self worth. Amazingly after being supported in that alchemy, two new work and money creation opportunities flowed in.
Sometimes I feel like Godde embodied as My Own Queen. Sometimes I’m in my human stuff. And I sense that it’s all part of this Butterflying process, these cycles of transformation. It’s mystical and mysterious from the ground level. Yet I sense that there’s More at Play. There’s purpose even to the challenging moments.
I hope this helps you… And to know that I’m human too. I write songs about Love and Godde and Healing because there’s a lot of shit I’ve had to heal through. Music has helped me so much and continually helps me through. Actually my friend suggested I “go for a brisk walk” and listen to a new unreleased song called Champion, to feel better after our chat. It worked. If you need an extra boost, go listen to a song that inspires and empower You! You God this…
Love,
Cora
