Last night, I prayed for healing dreams. This morning, I woke up with an energy of happiness shining through my heart, like a gentle rising sun. I decided to do what would nurture and support this energy to expand. Closing my eyes, breathing deeply, soaking in the warm dreamy bed vibes with a purring cat by my side, I focused on the feeling.
I resonated it into a vocal melody that I then translated onto the piano... A new song began emerging! Personally, it's a very rare mystical thing when a new song is born through me, so I was delighted and blissed as it flowed in.
After breakfast, I went for a walk and then got ready for a healing session. I felt a bit on the fence about offering sessions at this time, not sure if my wings are ready, as they still feel wet and gooey from chrysalis of my own healing process. Yet the wind blew an amazing opportunity my way, so I trusted the readiness strengthening inside me.
The session was amazing. I feel it opened up a new chapter of where my healing sessions are going. Of course each soul's journey is unique, so each session is different... However the tools I can offer and the sacred container I can create are now crystallizing. We began with her intention, and picked a "Keepers of the Light" card. I flowed on the winds of prayers and surrendered to the moment. I feel like my role is that of intuitive guide and soul midwife, supporting the organic healing process of our Divine Essence blossoming authentically. I'm amazed at how our souls know what to do. I sensitively facilitate by bringing forth intuitive guidance, healing musical energies, and compassionate presence, yet most importantly I'm allowing Spirit to illuminate us for the Highest Good.
It's such a blessing to do this work. I'm thankful for all the challenges in my life that have given me the opportunity to cultivate healing gifts. In some of my darkest times, my craving for Spirit was so intense that diving deep into my soul and honouring it's mysterious movement was the only guiding light that helped me through.
After the session, I cleared the space and my own energy. I integrated the blessings by emailing notes and making dinner. I savoured a sense of confidence in my own soul wisdom becoming stronger and stronger. Even though it's the dark of winter, the shining sun inside me is growing with a golden glow.
This year feels like a whole new frontier. I'm excited about musical travels on the horizon, and to offer the depth of my heart in healing work as well. I have come to realize that music and healing are both interconnected parts of my purpose. I absolutely adore being a conduit and conductor for both.
January 2, 2019
This time of year feels like a moment between breaths to rest and reflect; a sacred few days between the flurry of the holidays and the surge of inspiration to move forward with the new year. I'm presently housesitting in my hometown of Sarnia, Ontario which received a light blanket of fresh snow last night. I feel inspired to hibernate the whole day and it feels so nourishing. I'm loving that the inner movement is naturally flowing into a creative expression.
This is the "best nine" of my Instagram for 2018. Interesting that there's four photos of me, two glorious bath tubs, my shipment of re-designed CDs, and the best nine from last year. Music, healing, and traveling were the big themes of my year, so I'd love to dive in a bit deeper to honour and celebrate the flow of life I've been blessed with.
M U S I C
Musically some of the highlights this year were re-designing my album art for the Illumination CD the way I've always wanted it to be, going on tour through the west coast of North America, and playing shows on Maui. I got to play with some amazing musicians who each inspired and taught me about this art in their own special way. Throughout the year I wrote quite a few new songs, and feel like I have almost an album's worth. :)
H E A L I N G
Healing is a big part of my life, as I'm fascinated with how to connect with Spirit, embody my Soul, and create Heaven on Earth more through living authentically. I admit that in many ways this year I felt like I was broken open, for good. The natural alchemy of pain into purpose is work I love to do for myself and facilitate for others. In 2018 I committed to diving deep in therapy, honouring the flow of inspirational guidance, and cultivating my healing gifts.
T R A V E L I N G
Although at the beginning of the year I was deeply rooted in the hippie Ontario town of Peterborough, the nourishment and motivation I received there propelled me to Salt Spring Island, into the heartlands and up the west coast of the USA, to majestic New York City for the first time, on a mystical whim to Dubai, and a 3 month journey of exploring the glorious magic of Maui. Traveling is refreshing and rejuvenating for my whole being; I am so thankful.
Because I'd like for this journal to be authentic and share more than just the positive aspects of my experience, I feel inspired to answer a little survey that I found on Gala Darling's blog that may expand my reflections...
What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
Nude photoshoot with an amazing professional photographer; the photo above is from that shoot, which was incredibly healing and inspiring. I got to open for Nahko Bear at Project Earth Festival with Jared Woods. I had the blessing of traveling with an amount of money that allowed me to choose based on vibration rather than limitation.
Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I made any aside from some plans to tour... However I feel like in many ways this year compelled me to surrender to the mystery of life and flow with it. This year I'd like to set intentions based on desired energetic state of being, and flow that into monthly plans of action. It's such a delicate thing to balance plan and flow for me!
Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister gave birth to a little boy, however sadly because of family issues I haven't had the chance to meet him yet.
Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no. Although my interest in mediumship deepened this year.
What countries did you visit?
Canada, United States of America, Russia, United Arab Emirates.
What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
Rooted home base that can be a creative haven and soothing sanctuary, for me and my cat Luna.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
There were moments when my PTSD, anxiety, depression were really intense. On a deeper level it has felt soul crushing and emotionally excruciating many times. Yet I somehow have cultivated the resilience to keep rising.
What was the best thing you bought?
My new MacBook Air! For a while I was living and traveling with just an iPad. It was light and convenient but it's amazing having the "bicycle for creativity" as Steve Jobs intended.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Touring!!! Traveling to amazing new places!!! Learning about Divine Living from Gina DeVee!!! Music!!!!
What song will always remind you of 2018?
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier although this time of year is often challenging for me.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Healthier and more vibrant in many ways, in terms of size I don't know.
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer in experience... I'm healing and strengthening my finances.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Take photos with people I love and enjoy. I very rarely take photos with other people because I find it awkward, but this year I'd like to capture more special moments with people for memories and social media.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worry about the future. Often in moments of uncertainty, I get into a human state of fear that drains my ability to appreciate the present. From now on, I'd like to deepen my trust in the Divine Presence no matter the circumstances.
How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with good friends, drinking wine, and eating delicious food. It was sad in some ways, but special.
What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2018?
Making daily vlogs on YouTube of healing times in Peterborough, and then touring through the USA. I felt inspired to share more authentically than ever, which included the deep emotions that flow with challenging times. I am still recovering form the vulnerability hangover of sharing my tender feelings and moments online, yet I feel like it's good to break through the social media perfectionism that's permeated on the internet these days.
Did you fall in love in 2018?
Yes, but not in super deep sacred container of relationship the way my heart seeks... Maybe next year. ;)
How many one-night stands?
Honestly, none. I had opportunities but I'm more interested in soulful connections in sexual experiences which I'm in a constantly evolving movement of exploring. Honouring my heart more than ever to walk in my integrity.
What was your favorite TV program?
Monica the Medium. Greenleaf. United States of Tara. Nashville.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. However I've deepened in understanding, compassion, and boundaries to honour my well-being.
What was the best book you read?
Web of Angels by Lillian Nattel
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Thankful I had a sweet moment with my Mom on my 32nd birthday.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Purple!!! Haha... Seriously though people often reflect that I wear a lot of purple. I just love it. I also love to wear black and the occasional magical looking items.
What kept you sane?
My therapist, journal, friends, music, nature, wine, swimming, dancing, traveling, spirituality.
What political issue stirred you the most?
The whole #metoo movement. It is amazing witnessing the collective healing and empowerment emerging!
Who was the best new person you met?
Soooooooo many amazing people... In terms of deep soul friendship and inspiring influence, I'd say Poni Brendan.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:
Honour and trust the deeper wisdom of my heart.
Gratitude, Honour, and Celebration ~*
December 30, 2018